The way I see it...

I have been thinking lately about who I am as a person and through this self evaluation I have realized that recently I am waging a war with myself.. There is a negative, hurt part of myself that cries every time I hear something that other people would count as happy. Hmmm... maybe I should explain somethings.. I am 21 years old and I live with my parents . I graduated high school in '09 and I am neither in college or employed right now . Now anyone would be frustrated with those things, but the combo is making me crazy.. Now most would say "I have my whole life ahead of me" or "this is the best time of your life".. right!.. Right now I am older than my mother was when she got married and at the end of the month I will the same age my brother was when he got married. Now to some that may not seem so bad, but all my peers, people in my age group, they are ALL getting engaged, graduating college, getting married, and having children. I am still STUCK here

I am leaving in 2 hours so I am to wound up to sleep.. its currently 2:10am and I am leaving at 4:30 from Atlanta to go to Iowa AGAIN.. when all this craziness is over and I am in my own bed with my cat curled up next to me I will explain further the past 2 weeks.. but one of my friends got me thinking.. about sleep quotes and I found this one which I thought was touching and not really about sleep.. but it was cool.. so here it is.. "Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired. Smile, even when you're trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision. Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy. Trust, even when your heart begs you not to. Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see. Frolic, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you're afraid of what the dreams might bring. Run, even when it feels like you can't run any more. And, always, remember,

The title of my blog is The way I see it.. and someone asked my why that is.. and it is because of this quote. "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." So I started this to get things off my chest and talk about things how I see it. So here it is.. my life. I realized lately that I have been a bit of a debbie downer.. Things in my life have reached a precipice and the decisions I make will impact my life down the road. All the people my age are either married, getting married, or dating. I am fine with being alone but sometimes it is hard. And I love that all these people are happy, but I kinda wish that I had it too.. And another big thing is continuing my education and finding a job. I am having to put off school so I can get a job to pay for school.. but most of the places are not hiring. So that is stressful.. But enough about that stuff.. the purpose of this post was to talk about something new that I am starting.. I am calling it the n

I wish I had written down exactly what I was feeling when I was going through all the tests and xrays and my brace.. mostly what I remembered was feeling scared and ashamed that my body wasn't perfect.. and I just wanted to share what I remember about my experience. I was about 11 or 12 years old and i was in puberty and it was a very rough time for me, well for any girl at that time.. my body was changing I felt ugly and I was the oldest out of all my friends.. I already had glasses and braces.. so if you can imagine my self esteem was on the rocks. But I was at a routine checkup at my pediatrician and she noticed that my hips were uneven.. she said it probably wasn't anything but that she wanted us to go see a specialist. I remember my mom being freaked out and upset.. now for this whole process my parents did not have health insurance.. they paid for everything out of pocket.. and this stuff can get pretty expenshttp://www.blogger.com/ive. But we went and we met with the spe

So obviously I haven't been keeping up with this... there has been a lot of things to occupy my time. . First of all being my search for a job.. I have applied in many places and it is just frustrating.. I am willing to work any day except for Sunday and I would even be willing to work at EVERY hour of the day. And I have a car to transport myself, so to not get a job, when I would give it my 100%, its just soo frustrating! Right now I am dog sitting for a lady at my church and I am also looking after her two dogs. It is a very different experience.. I miss my cat.. he doesn't bark and he keeps himself clean. And most of all I just miss cuddling with him in my own room in my bed.. you never know how much you love your home until you leave... It has been 9 days that I have been here.. and I am enjoying it for the most part. But the neighbors being loud and not having my cat are the bad things. The good things are I can stay up to all hours of the night, I can cook what I want, I

This is going to be a blog about the way I see things and about my new decision to get healthy and take care of my body. And also my decision to love myself for all my FAULTS. Just a way for me to get things off my chest. So I hope you guys enjoy it.. I might try to do a day by day thing.. yeah.. I will do Day 1 later today. Until then just remember that this is a beautiful life that we have all been given. As always, Abigail