Little annoying things

I have been thinking lately about who I am as a person and through this self evaluation I have realized that recently I am waging a war with myself.. There is a negative, hurt part of myself that cries every time I hear something that other people would count as happy. Hmmm... maybe I should explain somethings.. I am 21 years old and I live with my parents. I graduated high school in '09 and I am neither in college or employed right now. Now anyone would be frustrated with those things, but the combo is making me crazy.. Now most would say "I have my whole life ahead of me" or "this is the best time of your life".. right!.. Right now I am older than my mother was when she got married and at the end of the month I will the same age my brother was when he got married. Now to some that may not seem so bad, but all my peers, people in my age group, they are ALL getting engaged, graduating college, getting married, and having children. I am still STUCK here.. I feel my life passing by while I try every darn day to find a job.. I want a job!! I want to do SOMETHING other than sit at home EVERYDAY!! I want to be able to earn money and be able to get my own car instead of borrowing my parents car. I want to be able to help my parents with bills. I want to be able to go back to college and finish my degree! I am a hard worker and I have applied to everything I am qualified to do. And I feel horribly guilty because I cant get a job and I cant help my parents.. and they are always soo disappointed when I tell them that again and again I have been rejected for jobs.. So yeah.. I didnt mean to make this into a crying session.. but these are the things that have been on my heart recently! Lots of Love, Abigail

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